I think you did a bang up job of drinking the STFU smoothie and keeping the duct tape on as long as you did. Bottom line, he doesn't want to get up off the money to buy you out and yes, he knows that you are the one that is keeping the business afloat and it could very well go down the toilet if you left. I'm glad you aren't allowing his Kool-Aid mixture confuse you and yes, you definitely need a lawyer to sort the business ends out. The first thing would be to get someone in to do an audit and estimate what the business is worth at the current value and go from there. My sister had to do this when her h died and she began co-owner w/her BIL in the excavating business.
He really is off in La La Land if he thinks that you'll agree to anything he's propsed and from the sound of it, he's not seeking the proper professionals to help him w/his issues.
Bottom line, you know what you need to do to cut the ties and it's up to you when you decide to do so. You've been a very patient woman and have tried everything, but he's still twirling in the wind and you can't continue like this for a very long time. It's time to think of you for a change.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
