Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 5)

[ForGump]

JR-- one more thing. I'm not sure this is right for you, but I suggest it just so you can entertain the ideas. You have been suffering for a very long time. It has inspired you to improve yourself in many ways, but that kind of suffering can also squash your soul in ways you don't realize. In-house separation is hell. Your kids may see this in ways that you don't fully realize. What if, as your possible next path, you chart out a path to separation? This could be cold water on your W's wishy-washy, self-centered dictate that you stew in the threat of D for two years, to kind of mangle metaphors. At least in your head, what might a road to separation look like? A separation done under YOUR terms, one that minimizes hurt on your kids? Something that lets YOU move ahead without the punishing whims of your wife's self-centered indecision?