She'd have to undergo a radical transformation, and I think her problems aren't really of the sort that are amenable to change. I don't think she's capable of a relationship that would work for a non-doormat.
You may be right, however, let me share what I witnessed several years ago. There was a man who had been in a M for many years, and had about three or four grandchildren. He verbally and mentally abused his family. Eventually, the family fell apart (long story) and his W (who was definitely a doormat) finally had the courage to D him.
So.....he meets a new woman and they get M. It seems she doesn't take any of his cr@p, and has completely changed him from the man he used be! It just amazes people who knew him from the past.
I believe we teach people how to treat us. That goes double for spouses!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
