The seed beneath the bitter snows is me!

[2Times2Many]

Seems like forever since I posted anything, but it certainly isn't because there's nothing going on.

H returned a week ago and the second night he was here, he started right in on my D proposal. He said he couldn't buy me out of the company and started trying to convince me that what I wanted (a totally clean break) wasn't in my best interest. I was a good girl, drank the STFU smoothie and then plastered duct tape all over my mouth. That caused him to keep talking and talking and talking.

At first it was a list of reasons why a clean break wouldn't be good for me (financially), then he had a bunch of ideas that would involve a D, but me staying tied to (and working for) the company, then he said it would wipe out his savings and he wouldn't do that, then he said he wouldn't take out a loan and burden the business, then he said I could find someone else to buy me out (our agreement gives the shareholders the right to veto that), then he said he wasn't going to "start over" again, then he finally said he was scared and that he was afraid if I left the business, it would fail. (That's about the only thing he said that I actually believe.) Then he put the onus on me to find a way for him to buy me out without "damaging" him.

He also said (twice), with hands in a praying position, that he hoped I wouldn't completely shut the door because he wanted to remain friends.

He told me we didn't need to get attorney's involved ... we could just save that money and work out a settlement on our own. (Uh, no.)

It was quite enlightening, to say the least. I just told him he had given me some things to think about and left it at that.

He also said he was seeing a psychiatrist and taking Prozac for his depression. I don't know if I believe that one or not.

He also said he was involved with yet another self-help group and he realized his issues arose from his childhood and he was working on that. I did some research on the group and they don't impress me. Hopefully, he really is getting professional help.

We had another discussion, where I again just kept my trap shut, that was lie after lie after lie. All of that was an effort to try to convince me he was doing things for the business that I can prove he isn't. I'm sitting there, listening to all of it, thinking, "Don't you know that I can check up on that?" Truly sad.

Other than that, things have been pretty calm. We did have a disagreement that I took the duct tape off for. He was trying to use the things he's picked up from that group to "analyze" me and my "introverted-ness" based on my childhood upbringing although he knows I had a normal childhood and don't have any skeletons in the closet that need to be dealt with. I was a very happy kid with parents who weren't perfect, but never harmed me in any way. I called him on that BS and went off to spend some time in the bathtub.

The next morning (my birthday), he took my hand and apologized for saying what he did and upsetting me. It felt really strange to have him holding my hand.

He got me a card and flowers for my birthday and took me to dinner.

I'm doing fine, though. His behavior has been pretty much par for the course and hasn't really rankled my feathers. And nothing he's said or done has changed my mind. I am more and more convinced with each passing day that putting an end to all of this is the right thing to do ... for me.

I am the kind of person that tries to avoid hurting or harming others and a D and leaving the business will harm H much more than me (if I'm treated fairly). I really hate to do that to him, but he put us where we are and why should I suffer for years to come because of his poor choices? I am sincerely sorry that he is where he is and I do care about what happens to him. I feel no ill will or vengeance toward him, but enough is enough. I simply have nothing left to give.

I hope everyone is doing well.
2T