I agree w/Cali and Mr. Bond. I think I know you fairly well from your postings and I think you'll just ignore the advice Cld has posted here.

Irish, continue as you have been. You know what you need to do in order to heal and help your daughters heal and continue on to fulfilling lives.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.