Confused on What to Do 2

[Eagle11]

CT1118,

Just checking back into the boards after a busy last few days for me. How was your weekend? Did everything go ok with your son?

I would not wish to interfere with the line of questions Eric offered you, but something was either left behind or intentionally passed - I will leave it to E2 if he wants to check me on the interruption, but: Above you wrote You thought of getting jobs, she did not care if you did BUTShe wanted a parent at home and she did not want to use daycare. What is the committed answer? In this statement it looks like you blame her for you not getting a job, however you prefaced with she did not care. So, does she have a control problem or did you like staying at home with the kids? Was it more mutual than you stated?

She doesn't have a control problem with the kids and I generally love to stay home with them.

When we moved to FL and she got a higher paying job she was the one who suggested I stay home so we wouldn't have to send our S to daycare like he had been going. I was excited for this because at the time I thought this would be easy. After a couple of months I realized this was a lot harder than I thought. I stuck with it and as we moved around I grew more comfortable, but I don't think I was the best stay at home dad to our older son because I wasn't really sure what I was doing or if I wanted to do it. I never brought it up to my W though. I don't think I was scared to talk to her about it, but maybe I felt like I might be viewed as a failure.

Anyway, in my post above to Eric I mentioned that my younger son was born 2 months early and spent 5 weeks in the hospital before he got to come home. Even after he came home he would still have issues from time to time. With this son I think I finally realized what I was doing by being a stay home parent. I could see how much he needed me and I found something with him that I didn't have before.

This is hard to explain and I hope it doesn't come across that I love one son more than the other because that is not the case. I just think with my second S and all the trauma it made me realize what it means to be a dad and to really have someones life depend on me. Anyway, once my second S was born I feel I became a much better stay home parent to both my boys and I began to really enjoy staying with them everyday. I became proud to be a stay home dad.

PS, www.thepennyhoarder.com : great ideas for small income from home. Some ideas suk, some don't, but worth looking at.

I will look into this. Thanks for the link.