WW Starting to talk again. Not sure if I want her.

[job]

I want to point out that it is written all over the place that a crisis can last from 3-5 years and that this timeline applies to both men and women. However, over the years, we have seen a crisis last far longer than what has been posted over the years. I, personally, don't put much stock in the 3-5 years timeline. I put stock in the person who is experiencing the crisis returning to a normal, mature individual. The crisis will take as long as it takes and it could be 3, 5, 7 or even longer and some can remain stuck. Sometimes it can be shorter, but rarely have we seen this. The timeline is based upon how many times the person hits the brick wall and finally steps back and learns the lessons he/she needs to learn as well as facing his/her issues. Once in crisis, you can't rush the process. If you do rush it, or attempt to snap them out of it, they will go back into crisis at a later time and it will be far worse than the first time around. Their clocks are very, very slow and they lose track of time, etc.

So, do yourself a favor and take the 3-5 year timeline w/a grain of salt. It's all up to the person experiencing a crisis as to when he/she determines when it's over and I would hate to see you still sitting here 3 years from now still looking out your window to see if he/she's done.

I also want to point out that if and when they do wake up, there is no guarantee that the person will be the same person you knew pre-crisis. Some come out of the fog very settled/mature, some come of the "fog" and keep a few of the traits that they exhibited during the crisis and then there are others that will be totally different personality wise. So, it's a wait and see to see who actually returns to the real world.

This is the time to focus on you and do the things that you've put off doing for years and a time to learn new things. If there are things that you need to do to improve yourself, do them for you and not to win her back. Be sure that you are happy w/whatever changes that you make. Whatever changes you make, they must become permanent or she'll know that you only made the changes to get her attention and convince her to come back into the relationship.

Most importantly, continue moving forward. Life is far too short to sit in one spot. You can always leave the door ajar, but continue to live your life to the fullest. If she wakes up, she will have to do the hard/necessary work to earn your trust and become transparent in all that she does in order to gain your trust again. But...that's a ways down the road.