ForGump - very sorry to read about this. I would suggest, via your own words, if going to S will get you to a healthier place, how could that be one of two bad choices?

Key word is choice - sound like you are facing having to make the one that is right for you, but your write sometimes like you have no choice.

I wish you piece tonight my friend.

"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6