Albac/JR-- thanks for your words of encouragement. It helps.
I'm going to try to work w/ my W on the DIY divorce papers. I no longer have the will to stay in our current situation, in in-house separation.
I don't know what to call it, but I need to separate and get to a healthier place for me.
I am still sad for my kids, but I believe the environment in our house is getting darker as time passes, and I have to choose the better of two bad choices.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final