I was surprised at myself and how, I guess, calm? Focused? "Okay" I was? I only had a few times that the emotion would well up a bit. I was the first one to arrive (that's my thing), but saw H's car pull in next to mine as I was walking in. I just kept walking.I had dressed to the nines (black blazer, heeled short boots,scarf and jewelry, but stayed true to my casual nature with faded skinny jeans and a "dressy" t-shirt). Always look your best...Sandi's rules #13! Didn't even see him until the end when we had come to an agreement and were then meeting in the same room to make it official. I did alright...no one leaves mediation 100% happy. I spent my time shaking my head at the crazy L games and back and forth dealings, and realizing how much my L hated men. And later, how much of a drama queen H's L was. H's lawyer left immediately; she is very loud and seemed to be almost yelling when we were in separate rooms. She looked miserable when we met in the same room and was repeatedly putting her head on the desk and telling us she had to hurry and get to another appointment.. H looked..very handsome, but his eyes were red rimmed. Tired or upset? I had a hard time not looking over at him and as we were discussing things we kept making eye contact more and more, and talking to each other as our L's were busy posturing and we were better at cutting to the chase on little loose ends we needed to wrap up.
When we were paying the mediator, my lawyer left and H started asking me about our girls as we waited...what I'd heard they'd been up to and sharing what he'd heard. Then he was paying his portion so I hung back a bit while he continued talking to me. The mediator came in and remarked that in his 30 in the business we represented a rarity...talking as friends after our attorneys had left. I replied, "we have kids together" and H said "we don't dislike each other".
We chatted a bit longer with him and then walked out together still chatting, and discussed how to make things easier on the kids...holidays together maybe and such. He said he wanted to do things to cause as little strain on the kids as possible, but didn't want to hurt me. Wanted to make sure I wasn't hurt. I told him I'd be okay. He said "thank you" to me at least 3 times during our talk. I was not sure what else to say as a response other than "you're welcome" and thanked him back, kind of chuckling. The absurdity of the whole situation just added to the surreal feel. I then told him it was nice seeing him again and left.
I'm not sure how I feel right now. I certainly don't feel done. I just kind of feel...like I need to just get on with the day. Sort of detached. Not at all how I thought it would go down. Just sort of ...hmmmm.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
