Can I just start this by saying "I love you, man!" I'm sorry to whack you... I know this sucks for you... but you CAN and WILL do this.
Quote: Your goal is to bring you and CAW closer together. In order to achieve that goal, you've tried so hard to analyze what's wrong with her that your perception of her is worse than her perception of you.
I have to remember this... I have to stop judging my H... stop thinking how could you, etc. Truly forgive him.
Someone else said something about not showing them rejection in any way at all. It may have been Nik. But that made me stop and think, too. To be accepting of them.
They know what they have done... they have to live with themselves... and the rejection they feel, plus any we give them, plus from their kids, friends, etc. It must be difficult to be where they are.
So, I think we have to be the welcoming ones. Put the past behind us... truly let it go. Start fresh each and every day, every moment if we need to... This is the person I love, I want to spend my life with... and go from there.
It may take a very long time for them to feel safe enough to let that horrible guard down...
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
