Not so lost now take 2

[twinmom]

I STILL have a random "why" question every now and then. It's normal, don't beat yourself up over it.

This is what my H has said about his actions....
....everything was easy, I didn't have all the stress and responsibilities like I did when we were together. When I went to her kids baseball games it was because I wanted to be with her. She was always so happy and stress free, she never asked me to do anything or complained about anything I did or my family did. It was all good because it was new.

So basically they didn't have a "REAL" life, they lived an immature irresponsible fantasy life. My H doesn't have the coping skills to deal with real life. (He also has addiction issues, not drug or alcohol but 'love/lust/sex')

Your H and the OW are still living the fantasy life because there is no commitment and daily stress. I'm NOT saying to do this just IMAGINE... if he had full custody of the kids & he was responsible for mortgage/bills/household with OW like he was with you. That fantasy life would end REAL quick and then would either of them have the relationship skills to cope? I don't think so.

My H didn't go through a mid life crisis, he has other issues but I have been able to ask him things like "why did you treat her so much better than me?" Having some of these questions answered has helped but honestly it's still hard to accept.

Why don't you try setting some daily & weekly goals?