OK, I guess its time to acknowledge how you folks have set me straight. I've come back to this six times since and each time ... Ouch! Guess I kinda forgot how it felt to get whack up side the head ... but hey, when its called for ...
These responses are great and really helped me see how off track I've been getting. Actually, by setting me straight on...
Quote: didn't feel like playing only on her terms
I didn't see how this was much off the same old thinking of before... Ugh! I can't believe I slip back to that without even seeing it. Its just, that CAW wasn't always like this. Just the contary, she use to have a hard time keep her hands off me. So for the last few years, its gets very frustating at times that she has shifted her behavior.
Holdingon, truer words have never been spoken!!! and I need to hear them yet one more time (scratch that ... SIX more times as that's how many times this week I have reread that!) Every bit of what you said is exactly the reason CAW is still here after two years despite all her internal deliberations. If I had been lacking in any of that over the last two years, she wouldn't be with me now. PERIOD. So stick with what works.
So onto what Andy says...
Quote: Here's "something different." How about trying to be consistent?
Andy, I sent you a more detailed email, but simply put being consistant wasn't something different for nearly eighteen months and yet it hasn't been enough for CAW to change much at all in the timeframe. She is still seeing OM, still vacillates between him and me. I guess after 18 months, in the last six, I've been letting my frustrations get the better of me.
Andy, I guess I fell into that trap of 180 + 180 = 360. (I know you know where that comes from.)
Quote: Acting as-if you accept CAW – vacillations and all – brings you together. Why? Because CAW starts to feel accepted, and because if you truly work at it, you start to think of CAW in an accepting way. In other words, you act as-if you accept her until you do accept her. And the circle is unbroken. The more you truly accept her, the more she feels accepted…
I'm probably gonna have to read this daily to keep up my fortitude and keep those frustations at bay in the months ahead.
From Wonder
Quote: You seem to identify what isn't working... if I'm following correctly, it's pulling back. So maybe scratch that one and find another "something different"?
That's the hard part for I was fresh out of ideas, but your phrasing of the question was key to coming up with an answer tonite...
"Finding another something different" to do as Holdingon said...
July 11th is CAW b-day. Never before now have I ever organized a celebration party. I think this day would be perfect to host my first!
Thanks for the whacks ... REALLY ... it finally snapped me back to my senses.
PnB, thanks for the wishes, but gonna be a bit short on the relaxing this weekend as I'm working the nite shift all weekend. The upside is that its my last weekend on nites for the next ten weeks. Bad news is I no longer will be able to hang out here on bb as much.
Its just, that CAW wasn't always like this. Just the contary, she use to have a hard time keep her hands off me. So for the last few years, its gets very frustating at times that she has shifted her behavior. 
