So new update. I'm still doing very well for myself in terms of emotional stability. Still not missing her.

Saturday morning I picked up the kids and they were like zombies. Especially my little girl. W said she thought maybe Madison was getting sick. I took them to soccer and then we went straight home where both kids took a 4 hour nap. My son doesn't even take naps anymore and he was out like a light. Prior to the nap I attempted to feed them lunch, but they were both so tired they were falling apart having meltdowns over nothing. I kept it chill for the rest of the day and they still both zonked out at bedtime. Yesterday morning they were happy as could be, no indication of illness, etc. My son told me that the OM had spent the night. This still makes me so angry I can't even begin to explain it. My guess is that W kept them up very late. She also didn't bathe them and I know she was out in Fernley on Friday (1 hr away) hanging out with this lesbian white trash chick that I suspected her of fooling around with a few months ago. I am angered by the company that my W is keeping around my kids. The OM is pretty White trash as well.

Then last night I get a message on facebook from a transguy acquaintance whom I have never met, just know on facebook because he is local and has kids too. Well, turns out he and my W were texting about 8 months ago after she answered his craigslist ad for NSA casual encounters. W had no idea that I knew him and she had told him we were in an open relationship at the time (which we were not) and that she wanted a friend to play with, so he didn't think anything of it. But he says nothing happened as he decided he didn't want to cheat on his wife. He apologized profusely - I told him no worries on his end, but thanks for letting me know.

At this time, I am asking the lawyer to make changes that instead of a separation, we go straight to divorce. I feel like this woman is broken and there is no way I am going to have any effect in fixing her. She doesn't realize that she is broken, nor does she want to.


I know that this is not the philosophy of this forum - but I need to do what is right for my kids and my own well-being. This pattern of behavior of hers will not change until she decides to change it and I can't sit around and wait while she has a little adventure, doesn't figure herself out, and then tries to come back and do the same thing.

I am not giving up - I am giving in. I am giving in to the self-destructive whirlwind she has created. I am letting go and moving on. I have to.

I will be back to update as I am using this as a journal that I can return to at times when I am down or angry.