Quote: KAW, what have you done differently just lately to make CAW sit up and notice?
Well, I was wondering this same thing. You seem to identify what isn't working... if I'm following correctly, it's pulling back. So maybe scratch that one and find another "something different"?
Quote: I mean DBing teaches that us that being needy is not healthy, so how does one address a needy passive-aggressive WAW in a way that doesn't drive her away?
Not sure I agree with this, KAW. We're all "needy" to some extent... we all need something from our partners. Relying on that at the expense of meeting our needs in other ways can be unhealthy, expecting someone else to meet all our needs is unhealthy. And the PA way of getting them met, also not the healthiest (or most effective) way to go. But we can't just strike out all neediness as a bad thing.
But as for how to address their neediness in a healthy way that doesn't push them away... when they're not outright communicating their own needs... well, if I knew that answer, I'd probably be in a different place these days. It's a tough one.
I do wonder though, as someone who also used to get the laying silently in bed not asking for what they want signal-- whether you might make some progress in reading that signal, showing you see it, and pushing full ahead? Maybe run with it and be playful with it?
You might have been there and decided it goes nowhere or perpetuates the non-communication, but I'm wondering. It helped me, but it took me a while to get past my resentment of the whole approach to see that. Anyway, some food (or drink) for thought, maybe?
I agree with others about the boxes if you get to that bridge.
