H filed for divorce - is it too late?

[csabo]

I wanted to check in this morning, but I don't know what to say.

Doing family portraits today with me and my dog, so I can give pictures to my family so they don't have to have pictures of me and H still. It should be fun.

Talked to H a little this morning before he went to his magic card tournament, about nothing really. He seems a little less friendly with me these past few weeks, but I've been trying to remain happy and positive around him while maintaining a sort of noncommittal distance. He was talking a bit about his magic tournament and I smiled and said have fun before he left, but I was doing my own thing and not dropping everything to pay attention to him.

He feels further from me now, I kinda miss the mixed signals. DB coach said he was "testing" how he felt with the still spending time with me and being a little affectionate. I'm worried I "failed" his tests and he's moving away from me. I'm trying to be patient with him and let him go on his own journey.

He's not really "cheating" on me, but he is experimenting with other women. I don't think he'll be able to find what will satisfy him any time soon, and maybe then he will realize that our 9 years together DOES mean something. But I have to be prepared for the possibility that will find something and not come back.

One day at a time. Like I said before, I've got at least 4 more months, I intend to make the most of them.

Thanks for reading and giving feedback, everyone. I'm sad anyone has to be here but glad that such a supportive place exists for those of us that do unfortunately have reason to find ourselves here.