Zeus, that is genius! It's like a ticklist!! I also got the tales of him feeling suicidal. Maybe he does, or maybe he doesn't. Who the heck knows!
Cherry. I just wanted to drop in a note on this. Having been suicidal myself on this journey more than once (and being me) I've read up on it. Ask yourself honestly - is this just drama or a legitimate cry for help? I read somewhere (don't remember if it was a peer reviewed document or not) that the time between deciding to kill yourself and doing it can often be measured in minutes. I've experienced it myself. Reading about suicide on one of the web sites that actually helps you plan it out was very helpful - can't remember the link. What they wrote that had an impact on me wasn't about the emotional aspects, or about the impact on your loved ones, it was the fact that suicide was messy and often didn't work that helped pull me back from the brink. I got there because I was researching if overdosing on my blood pressure meds would do the job.
I remember after one of my first episodes when I contemplated driving my car at full speed into a train - telling W about it. Not to "get her attention", or "make her feel sorry for me" but out of honest concern about how far I had sunk and looking for help. She was horrified (family members had committed suicide) and got quite upset with me and begged me to not do it. It very much made no difference in our sitch and she's probably forgotten all about it or believed it was just drama. The earlier episodes were in many ways a "cry for help" where I felt that was the only way out for me and W. One later episode in August which had a lot of people here very concerned about me was just "darkness". I did cry for help here then and many people including yourself I believe answered the call for which I continue to be grateful. That time wasn't a fix, it wasn't to get attention, it wasn't even thought through very much. That one scared me most.
What I'm trying to say is that if there is a legitimate cause for concern about your H doing self harm that a human life is far more important than a MR or anyone's pride. If you have information on a local suicide prevention hotline or something similar perhaps see if you can give it to H and even perhaps program it into his phone. Having someone to reach out to when he's in that moment of crisis who won't judge and isn't involved may just save a life.
Hugs
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
