No matter how many festivals, presents are bought, etc. your h and OW have a story and it is not romantic. It's trashy. When people ask how they meet, just think about the answer! It is a "relationship" founded on lies and secrets. For FOUR years!!!
Look, I have a live-in MLCer. I see what this thing does to a person. I promise you, OW is not getting some great version of your h. She is getting a really, really bad version of your h--the opposite of who he was with you. And because he is so broken down, look what he's attracted! A woman willing to be with a married man. She has so little respect for herself that she accepts living her life in the shadows. No decent woman would involve herself in a situation like this. She is not worth one second of your time.
Sadly, in the state he's in right now, he's not worth your time right now either. Don't think about them. Focus on you and your kids. Look at the reality and realize you are the one who can hold your head up high, square your shoulders and be proud.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
