Rourky, I want to respond more in depth but I'm super busy with work but wanted to point one thing out.

OW is WORSE than the dating site guys. She IS a "friend with benefits" to your H. FOR FOUR YEARS! He has NO commitment to her, actually even a negative one as he has shown he won't divorce you or introduce her to family.

Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction