Cherry.Papers filed "am I making a mistake".focus!

[Cherry]

Thank you guys, I'm glad you all think I'm doing well- that means a lot to me, the encouragement does help when I have one of those moments where you wonder if you're doing this right.

Blu- I totally think it was blame shifting. It's one of those "well you didn't try to stop me". But yes mind reading will never serve you well, nor does hanging onto their word- an example being him saying he feels he is making a mistake, two days later "I didn't say that". Also "I know I do still love you" then last night "I didn't say that".

As angry as we can get with them. He looks so miserable, closed off. Not talking to anyone including S. Spewing contradicting things left right and centre. This behaviour doesn't hurt me really anymore. If anything, I kinda pity him. He speaks about suicide, he is oh so very depressed. It cannot be easy to be in that kind of mind set. The brain must be swirling with all kinds of thoughts and emotions.

But again, I understand that I can't help him. He doesn't want me to. He is broken, and I didn't do that, I can't fix him. He's sat in his own little isolation right now. Meanwhile me and S are making the most of this September sun! Enjoying playing out in the garden, he's burning off energy, and I'm getting fresh air, sun and the satisfaction of seeing him laughing and enjoying himself