Gawd, I just though I had a great 180 opportunity and blew it!
I think I still might have looked a bit sulky but for me the 180 would have been to thank him for picking up D as it saved me a journey instead he must have sensed I was a bit annoyed. I'm such a clutz!!!
(((Coly)))
I have a MUCH better 180 for you! Stop being so hard on yourself!!! You are way too hard on yourself! Have you heard that before? Why do I think that everyone in your life must tell you that ...
I spent a loonnnggg time screwing up! In fact, I am sitting here blushing because it is dawning on me that some of you (SH, ahem, ahem) perhaps think too highly of me and my advice. So let me jump off of my pedestal for a moment and give you some examples of how I "blew it," Coly.
(Excuse the momentary hijack, if you will :-)
-I texted my H and OW in a group text and told them what POS they were and how much I hated them. (uh, yeah, I actually did that. Twice I recall) -I would follow H out to his car yelling and once I actually grabbed his bag so he couldn't leave. Pretty sure the neighbor's heard. (Yup. Guilty as charged) -And icing on the cake!?! ... wait for it ... I invited everyone (including his family) except him, to one of our kid's bday parties. (I am not kidding. I was vicious!)
The award for blowing it goes to??? ... And guess who still came back? My WH came back even tho I blew it many times. I eventually learned that I was only hurting myself. I found the benefit in DB and 180s for me and I started to let him go. But all the mistakes I made didn't ultimately change my outcome. And they were pretty ridiculous. Shenanigans really :-)
You see, Coly, no one expects you to be perfect. You are human. This is really, really hard stuff. Don't be even more hard on yourself. Love yourself. Love, learn, and live another day. I have no crystal ball on what Hs will do. But in the mean time, my goal is to come here and help some of you suffer a little less than I did. Perhaps not be as foolish too :-)
(((Coly)))
-Blu
-Blu -
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
