" I don't know if I journaled the other day that he said he thought I would fight for us more. "

I just read this quote in your last thread and all the replies from posters, and was fascinated by the different responses and reactions! I think it strikes a chord with every one of us because we each feel that ALL we have done is fight for our M. That is WHY we are here and that is where we have been putting TOO much energy!

So for a wayward to say this is confusing, yet the irony is undeniably funny! Some posters gave you kudos because it shows you are able to DB and demonstrate detachment, some suggested that it was hopeful because is shows he cares, others found the humor in it, and some viewed it as blame shifting. My initial thought was blame shifting as well. If you are able to DB, do your 180s, detach, and validate, then you are not giving H much ammunition and therefore all he has left to do is to blame you for that in and of itself! Ha!

But in further thinking, Cherry, I honestly don't know why he said that. We are all mind reading and as I ALWAYS say, "mind reading NEVER works." It never works because no one can ever know what is in another person's head. Also, when the head is foggy, all of the thoughts and feelings get clouded and most likely they don't quite understand their intentions either.

So, all that said, none of us have a clue what he meant. Thus, why I go back to the DB principle--believe none of what they say and half of what they do. Right now he is filing for D, and so that is all we know. That is all you can work with. Back to the drawing board!

Cherry, I see the tremendous growth in you and a lot of potential. You are young but are able to see the value in your children's R with their father despite his troubles. This is golden. You are gaining insight into yourself and are motivated to make positive changes. The fact that you recognize your mistakes in your M and have done some 180s in your communication with him, will carry you far in life. Keep that chin up, stay strong, and keep moving on without him. You WILL be fine!

(((Cherry)))

-Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela