Cherry.Papers filed "am I making a mistake".focus!

[Cherry]

Coly, unfortunately so. They just follow a script. Very scary and strange how similar all of their behaviour is.
His r with S is very sad. All he ever wanted was to be a dad. And S always meant the absolute world to him. It does hurt me, though like you say, this is really all him. I just know that the person he was, would be heartbroken to see this. Despite what happens between me and him, I don't want to keep him from his children. And I shall remain civil to make sure we can parent them together and make them feel loved. Right now, I'm just trying my best to protect S from the confusion by myself.

Today I'm just going to withdraw a little. The old me may have stayed angry with him. My 180 will be calm. Part of this is frustration, part of this is I am just feeling kinda done. The past couple days I have actually started to feel could this be salvaged, could I trust him, do I want him. I've not been at this stage before, it's quite confusing. He is very suicidal, he has told me several times that he just doesn't want to live anymore, he hates the pain. When he talks like this, yes I am concerned, at the end of the day- he is the father of my children. I don't want him to feel suicidal, for his sake and theirs. But their really isn't anything I can do to help him. He just continues to push me away. I told him if he feels that way he needs to seek help, which he dismisses.