Ah Focus 22, I'm sorry to hear that my lovely. You are doing so well and there are so many highs and lows on this journey. I can recall some days that started terribly and then ended pretty well...it all depends what you manage to do with yourself.
It sounds like it has been a pretty rough time with a lot going on for you home and work wise.....do you have any plans for the weekend?
Xx
Hi Sotto
Thank you.
So Friday I finished my temporary contract, and yesterday I had a double shift somewhere else.
Today is my first day off in a month. I've been working seven days a week, sixty/seventy hours a week.
I feel really, really proud of how everything worked out with my contract. Not only did I do a good job in one I had no experience in (or was given any training at all in), I also dealt with the emotional pressures of it really well. One person in another department eve said I was the most positive person in the whole building.
The pressure was pretty intense, especially over the last three weeks. Not just the amount of work I had to do, the visibility of it and the visibility of anything that might have gone wrong, but the way I was being treated by a couple of colleagues that I really needed help from. They were openly negative, obstructive, rude and bullying. I remained calm, gracious and dignified at all times. They got absolutely no reaction from me, except the one I chose to give.
My oh my, this whole DB process is giving me some tools for navigating life
Anyway, the upshot of it all was I got offered my ideal position (one day a week, working under someone I like, doing more of what I was doing). It means I can have a little regular income, carry one getting more experience in this field, carry on doing my other freelance work, and very importantly carry on doing my own work too.
Another department asked if I could consider some bits of work if they ever had any. To which I said, of course. That's just my thing, short contracts (that I can fit around my own work) and learning new things.
And one of the people I had been working with over the past few weeks was hoping to offer me some more work, tried to find some work for me, but it was all too short notice.
So, it's turned out well. It's given me a huge amount of satisfaction too, knowing I could do all of that. I feel like a changed person.
Something I've realised though, I still have some way to go in trying to raise my self esteem. It's still pretty low, on a personal level, rather than a professional one.
So plans for today. I'm still trying to sort the mess from having my central heating fixed. I've not really had any time at all at home, doing 12 and 14 hour days. I'll do just a little of that.
I also want to go for a good long walk. I've never really had a desk job before, ever, and I realised that I didn't really enjoy that side of things. I'm more of a standing and a walking about all the time type job person. I wasn't getting any exercise (or getting rid of any adrenaline), sitting there, in one place, all day long.
And offices have a lot of food hanging about, which I wasn't used to...biscuits, snacks, other edible treats. Tried to steer clear of them as much as possible. I'm not generally around food like that (I don't keep any in my house), so I was aware of it being a temptation.
I'll also maybe walk to one of my wholesale suppliers (if they're open today) and stock up on some supplies for my next few commissions.
I was offered more work by my (ex?) MIL? I think I'm going to accept. It's a one off, one evening, type thing, so not too long drawn out.
Will check in again and answer everyone else too x
