Quote: You say that CAW's complaint about you was that you were dark on her for much of the marriage. Since you started DBing more than two years ago, you have done a 180 on that, but still it isn't working. Her letter makes out that nothing has changed, from her POV.
Well, I wouldn't say it didn't work. Two years ago she was dead set on leaving and persuing a more involved R with OM. Since my whole-hearted efforts in DBing, she not only wanted to stick her big toe back into the M, but managed to get into the water up to her chin at times. Problem was she would stay in the water. Kept getting out ... getting back in ... getting out ... well you get the picture.
Quote: It seems to me that you have got to give another tactic a shot.
In order to get her to choose to stay in the water or not, I agree, but what? A seperation is not what I would want, so I looking for alternatives if there are any? Ironically, its starting to seem like a seperation may be the shortest route to take to get to the other side of this voyage and after two years that is starting to have some appeal.
Quote: One thing I am not clear about is the significance of her having to wait a year. For what, precisely, and why one year? Also, does CAW know you know about OM?
Her D24 (from previous M) is currently living out of state with her father. She is unhappy there (no suprise ... but long story), but is enrolled in a business school there. It seems CAW & D24 back in Feb concocted a plan where she would move back to this area after she has complete her schooling in about a year and CAW would move in with her.
No I don't believe CAW is aware that I know she has restarted up again with OM ... and that is one of the things I've been contemplating. Do I bring that up in the talk, if it comes to that?
I'm gonna have a big problem if she is again looking for some kind of future with him. I will state it again here, I don't think I can accept her returning to M because R with OM didn't work out. After 22 years, I'm not gonna accept second fiddle to anyone! That is what has always endeared me to her. She is the only person in my life that has ever made me feel I'm the most important person in their lives. I can forgive her for waivering as she has up to now because I had fallen short of being that person that was so important to her, but now after I made my changes, I don't feel I can not forgive her if she accepts only to come back to me because she tried but could not obtain making another, her number one man.
I hope that makes sense...
Betsey , thanks for your vote of confidence in my efforts. I wish I felt as strongly about it as you and the others.
