More confused than before

[Buxom]

Journaling... why is it that when things are going well or at least ok, that I feel most anxious? Is it because I expect to be let down? Maybe. I know this is a marathon and not a sprint and for the most part I can do it. Some days do feel very long as I recall the past words and deeds. I try not dwell as it changes nothing and just upsets me. I hope we are on track to whatever the next step is. I feel like my patience has worn thin over the past five years.