STBX calls yesterday evening and talks to the boys around 7pm.
The boys were playing on the playground outside and I went and gave them the phone. S4 did not want to speak with mommy.
She could hear me asking S4 to come to the phone but I was not going to force the little guy to talk if he did not want to. I tried 3 times to get him to hold the phone and he kept saying he is busy playing.
After I told her S4 is being difficult, she started to get short with me and said give him the phone and just have him listen so I can speak with him, I have not spoken to him the last two times (S4 does not really have any interest in living with STBX).
He finally came close enough where I handed him the phone and he said hello to her and then said I am busy, but I asked him to just listen to what mommy has to say quickly.
I know this may be a small thing, but STBX's tone changes quickly with me. She could hear me ask S4 3 times to come and speak with mom and each time she wants to continue to command me to do something. Well you know what, next time I need to address the issue differently with her because it is not my fault she does not call everyday and keep a bond with her kids. I will try once or twice, but if I start to hear that tone change in her voice I am going to politely tell her I made the effort and kindly say goodbye or come up with a better response to validate her feelings.
JK you defintely should not allow her to jump on you for S4 not wanting to speak with her. You also probably should not force S4 to speak with her if he does not want to. Maybe it's worthwhile to talk to S4 and see if you can pinpoint exactly why he doesn't want to talk to mommy.
I'd offer you give your W a warning about it next time she gets on you. If she does it again then maybe you politely say I'll speak with you later, goodbye and then hang up. Just my 2 cents, but I think something like that would change her behavior towards you.
Hang in there JK! That's awesome that you and S8 are becoming closer by the way!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
