Hi so had a great weekend away with my mum and my sister everyone happy had a good time lots of fun went bowling things were good
Back home things are good between W and I pleasant exchanges no expectation no relationship talks then I see that next week she has booked a night out and I feel so at a club why do I feel scared parranoid that she will do something my fears my insecurity going to speak to someone about this need to get this sorted this would be a massive 180
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Great job GAL, Ghost! If you can detach your feelings of paranoia from your W's GAL, you will make some progress.
She has gone out before, and as far as you know.....nothing significant happened. So try to relax and not think about all the "what ifs". Try to keep busy during the time she's out.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Just to build on what Sandi posted. I read or heard something recently about events, the meaning we give to them and the pain we cause ourselves.
So, the basic event is - your W is going out. That's all it is - she will go out for an evening presumably with friends.
The meaning you give to it matters. If the meaning you ascribe is - she must be going out to meet a guy - oh she looks dressed up - that must be it. She could meet someone and kiss them tonight...maybe more....
You see how the meaning you layer upon the event starts to cause you pain? In your mind, you start to feel these things have actually happened almost.
So, recognise what the event is and also watch out for the meaning you start to give it. Because the event happened...ie: she went out. But your meaning didn't - that's just your mind working overtime due to fear, insecurity and so on.
Thinking like this can help the mind when it starts to go in unhelpful directions and rings a dose of reason and reality back into the mix.
Something to practice with those runaway thoughts going forwards perhaps? Good job with the GAL by the way xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Ghost my friend. How goes it? Sandi and Soto are right.... But you already know this, don't you.......
What is your update on the initiation of your seeking out assistance today?
Focus on the good memories of the weekend. This will calm the mind.
Swing over to BluWaves thread and read the conversation that is going on as it relates to emotions, feelings and understanding them so one may take control of themselves.
Hope all is well. You are in my prayers.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Hi and thank you for posting I will head over and look at bluwaves thread
Woke up this morning and feel acceptance is starting to hit it has been ov a year now and I know it is not a sprint but I just feel I want to feel loved again and I want to show my love
Loveless.....is one thing I am struggling with ....sexless ok not great but not bothering me
Is It is wrong for me to show loving actions to my W do loving things how will this make me detach
I am feeling fairly level emotionally
Will post later again and I will read the suggested thread
Thanks speak soon
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
