The Thread w/o a Title

[TripleJ]

Two years and three months later, I right back to square one.

KAW, do you REALLY believe that? I do not know what the sitch was at that time, but I would be willing to bet that right now is NOT exactly where you were then.

You BOTH are different people. Not just you. And you BOTH have gone through some major changes. She may have not done much in regards to repairing your M, but she has gone through some changes.

I read the letter 3 times there buddy. And I didn't read one ounce of hate or disregard for your well being. It was a loving letter, with alot of care and compassion. She does not want to hurt you.

But it sounds as if she is hurting just as much as you are.

I completely understand the brick wall that she describes. Tell me you haven't felt that way at times?

I read this letter and I got the feeling that she understands these DB principles that we live. She doesn't know what to do about it though, and that is the tough part to understand.

So, you need guidance and advice in this, huh?

I believe it was Sage and PIB who mentioned validation. This is the BEST thing that you can do right now. Understand her feelings. Don't judge them. And no But statements.

She mentions too that she wants to go around that brick wall. KAW, I know this may sound strange, but I would suggest helping her go around that wall, and when she makes it on the other side, take a guess who should be there?

I know the question your asking, how the heck am I supposed to do that when I've been DBing like a madman for so long and I am at this crossroad.

I don't think I can answer that for you. Space is what most spouses around here have been screaming for. Some come back, some don't. Its the risk of it all that kills us.

But I do believe if it was true love, that love will conquer all, including the risks you take.

I have been sep'd for going on 10 months. I have been in the D process for 4 months. My D should be final within a month. But I still love my W, she still holds me in her heart, and who knows what the future may hold.

My prayers go out to you today.

Triple J