I agree, I think it helps to be given different opinions and see what works. Sometimes it's hard to see straight when in your in situation, a different view from an outsider can help.
And I do welcome a hit with a 2 x 4, because sometimes we all need a kick up the ass, I also welcome support! Heck, everyone's is welcome a mi casa!
I have had yet another busy day with S.. park, a nice walk, a guilty shop for me and picked up my new iPhone. The task now is sorting it out, my patience does not extend to technology! Wh was around today, I don't know why, but he is back to ignoring me. Again I'm still carrying on as normal. His chaos, not mine. I don't know if I journaled the other day that he said he thought I would fight for us more. I'm not sure if this is a scripted statement? Anyone heard this? I chose not to change my approach to db-ing. Would you agree this is right? I don't see how throwing myself at him when I'm treated like sh!t would help me at all. I chose to step back and leave him to it to respect his wishes, but most importantly help my own sanity. If I was in a perusing stage (like he kinda requests) then I would be a needy attached individual. I don't think I'd have self respect for myself, and I would never have been able to come to terms with being separated, or able to see my L, or have my papers ready to file. Plus, it seems like a request to cake eat, have some needs met elsewhere and the ego boost of a w at home meeting needs and throwing herself at you?! No can do.
It just seemed really strange that a wayward would say that they want a D, but then say that they want to see you fight for your M more? Gees.. don't worry, I didn't take it onboard. Nor has it changed my approach, I just thought I would throw it out there and get it journaled down in my telenovela..
Cherry, my W says the same thing about me not trying to save our M. It used to kill me to hear it but now I just let it roll off. I know that I'm busting my a$$, and you should to, to save your M. Don't listen to it or react to it bc it goes nowhere. Maybe it's our WS way of trying to allay their guilt by thinking we also didn't truly want to be in the M either. Who knows. I do know that my W started saying it when she started to see that I wouldn't be pushed around by her anymore.
Keep doing what you're doing and be your strong self! You rock cherry!!!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
