WW Starting to talk again. Not sure if I want her.

[Surfer]

So worked all day. Concentration is terrible at the moment. Need to get that sorted.

Picked up the kids, spent the day nipping in and out of the kitchen to make Spagetti Bolognase from scratch. Kids ate it all so must have been good. I am going to do a shortbread based cheesecake with summer fruit with S6 shortly as W takes D8 to hospital for a check up. Cooking is part of my GAL.

Had a very decent chat with W last night when dropping kids off. Invited in etc whilst she got them ready. She always knows when I am coming but is never ready. House was very untidy. She's not very tidy in fairness. And the kids are kids, but you have to keep on top of it and get them involved.

So chat went well but TBH I just wanted to get out of there after 15 mins or so as I find her uncomfortable to listen to for long periods of time. At present I just don't trust what she is saying - her conversation breaks down into.:

- moaning about something (I validate rather than saying what I think - stop manning about unimportant things, GAL, be genuinely happy - you control this!!!)
- telling you what you need to do (things that you know, I validate rather than revealing my real)
- telling you what she thinks about something (I don't often see eye to eye with this, so guess what, I validate).

I validate because I think it helps right now. But nobody wants a yes man so I am going to flip to challenging her, nicely, soon as always being like this drives me numb.

Part of this of approach is about her feelings and my listening is facilitating her sharing, little by little, which is helping her as I validate how she feels but - crikey I find it hard. I am very black and white in my mind and this stuff drives me mad when I am not in the mood for it.

I always make sure I look good,casual but good when she turns up. She turned up looking nice today and has for the last week - not sure who that's for, her, me etc. Not sure I care really.

As W has taken D8 for her appointment we will bake cheesecake. Just having a cuddle whilst S6 watches something on the iPad. We love our boy days we play computer games, make things, draw, be a bit lazy. When both are with me they will either play or we will go out and do something. Bike ride, swimming cinema, bowling etc. It's a bit chilly today and given D8 is on crutches we will be having an easy day. I think I might take them out for dinner tonight. Not sure.

W seemed a bit 'lost' today when she picked up D8. Just tinge of it in her. I think she struggles when there is nobody to talk to at home.

I am not wearing my ring today. My DB Coach recommends it....seems Normal.

Not much more to add really. State of mind - content and relaxed. Kids are good. Wife slightly 'lost'. Ambitions - none, mildly anxious that she is not pushing mediation forward but hey. Do I want to get back together. Not at the moment.

Surfer.