Confused on What to Do 2

[CT1118]

Eagle11 - thought my son would be with me tonight, he is not (that is a different story, not a negative one) so stopped by your corner. My graduate work is done for today, so here I am...

This is interesting. I think I need to look within more. I am so concerned about my W and what she thinks and how I react to that. Are you saying you are reprogramming the way you think?

Yes, to some degree, if that is how you wish to view it. I am saying you do not have to think the way you think. Perhaps you reprogram, perhaps you delete the program. What questions do you ask yourself? I gave you a few examples of what I ask myself - There is much expansion that could be done here. Ask me more if you want.

...I just wanted to save my marriage. What I am discovering is that this whole thing is about us, not our marriage. If we get to that place in our lives where we believe in ourselves then great things will happen. If we don't save our marriage, we will be fine as long as we've worked and bettered ourselves. This has been pounded in my head over and over since I joined here and it's starting to sink in.

You are in luck, I read what Ericmsant2 posted to you. It will sink in with a hammer very soon. The hammer will be in your own hand by the way, not Eric's, he will be handing you nails.

Something from:

I have thought about getting jobs in the past but my W never really cared if I did. She would rather have me around for the kids. She wanted a parent at home with the kids all the time and didn't want to use daycare.

What about what YOU want? You matter too!

I would not wish to interfere with the line of questions Eric offered you, but something was either left behind or intentionally passed - I will leave it to E2 if he wants to check me on the interruption, but: Above you wrote You thought of getting jobs, she did not care if you did BUTShe wanted a parent at home and she did not want to use daycare. What is the committed answer? In this statement it looks like you blame her for you not getting a job, however you prefaced with she did not care. So, does she have a control problem or did you like staying at home with the kids? Was it more mutual than you stated?

PS, www.thepennyhoarder.com : great ideas for small income from home. Some ideas suk, some don't, but worth looking at.

And sir - still wishing you the best of the best, especially on that hike - envious.