Confused on What to Do 2

[ericmsant2]

Eagle,

I was always a quiet/shy kid and struggled I feel with self confidence. I had friends but didn't really like to hang out with many of them after school. I was a loner most of the time when not in school.

Can you expand on this? Why do YOU feel the self-confidence was low? Why be a loner? Are you more of an introvert and prefer to be alone?

I have actually never met my real dad.

Well that makes two of us and also explains why you are the dad that you are (very involved, etc.).

I was upset but like I said I always suspected it to be true.

How did you deal with being “upset”?

I have never had a desire to find my real dad. I don't want to know the man who left and never bothered to check up on me.

Not judging…..I just find it interesting that you have no desire to even know if he is alive. Something to think about…as you get older it may help to know what his medical history is/was.

Looking back, we didn't know what we were doing.

A life lesson that I learned…..it really helped me to forgive… the lesson is….
“people do the best they can with the tools they have at the time”

You were both young and did the best you could. The KEY in the above life lesson is to LEARN from the experience and where applicable NOT repeat the same pattern.

When I met my W for the first time I remember thinking that I better enjoy her while she is around, because she is way out of my league.

What actions or behaviors did you wife exhibit that caused you the think that she was “out of your league”?

I just don't want my wife to be angry at me.

Question…. Do you think that you can control how others feel if you just keep quiet?

I have been thinking of a plan to get back into working and being able to support my kids.

Thinking and DOING are TWO different things.

I have thought about getting jobs in the past but my W never really cared if I did. She would rather have me around for the kids. She wanted a parent at home with the kids all the time and didn't want to use daycare.

What about what YOU want? You matter too!

I suggest that you start thinking about what steps you can take to get back into the workforce. I am not suggesting that you disrupt the entire family structure. Start to do some research and figure out what you would need to dust off your skill set and/or licenses required to work. I think it would be good for you.

Also, no need to announce it to your W. DB 101 – do things differently. Change it up a bit buddy.

I haven't really had much alone time since this all started and maybe just being outside in nature will help me clear my head. I don't know, but I think I need some time for myself.

Then TAKE the TIME for YOURSELF. Stop asking….stop waiting…just DO IT. I am not suggesting you leave the kids home alone. I am saying that YOU need to find the time for YOURSELF.

I have one other thing I would like you to do. Can you purchase the book No more Mr Nice Guy. It is 18.95 new on Amazon (12.95 on Amazon Prime) or 5.90 used. I think you would benefit greatly from the book.

Another read for you…Let Go now, embracing detachment by Karen Casey it is 13.47 on Amazon. I think they have an audible version as well. This book talks about BOUNDARIES and sorry to say dude, you have none. You can learn the skill though.

I am off for a weeks vacation but will be checking in on you.

BTW….who is the biggest email service provider in the world?

Let me know when you get the journal.

Peace