Focus on Me and my Boys 8

[sandi2]

You make me nervous when you start talking like this, Jim.

When you said something about her possibly wanting to R, I didn't know it meant you would move up there.

My DB coach said that if I let fear control my actions though, I will not be able to have a healthy R with STBX so from that POV, I will have to take a chance also. I took that chance once when I first met STBX, no reason I cannot take it again. Letting go of the fear creates courage.

I agree about letting go of the fear, but what you've stated about taking a chance when you first met....and now, sounds a little whacky. Things were much different before you M and adopted 5 kids. You said yourself that she is NOTHING like the girl you M. So, I say whenever a person has been treated the way she's treated you......don't take too many chances the second time around.

I will have certain needs that need to be met though and if we cannot agree then it is not worth the move there.

Be careful about making any "deals" with her.

Not sure what her L will tell her but even if we did move up there and D'd there later, I know for a fact she has no plan (budget) on how she will survive.

You can't R, just to rescue her.