Oh, found a short sale condo in a nice development I never thought to look in because it is way above my price range. Putting a bid today. D9 has not seen it, but it is awesome. Needs some cosmetic work, otherwise, the layout is great and perfect for entertaining. The price is below budget. Best feature? The deep beautiful corner Jacuzzi tub in my master bath ensuite. His and her sinks too, lol. I am already planning to put a wine rack in my bathroom.........
without that connection, I really can't find the energy in me to find it with someone I don't click with right away.
THIS is the tricky part. If you only go for guys that you feel that "instant connection" with - well, many of those will be people you have that feeling with because they trigger your childhood imprints of abandonment.
All those "nice guys" you felt no spark for? Some of them may not have been for you, but some may have been perfect but didn't trigger that unhealthy imprinted pattern from childhood.
Yes, you have to have some sparks in order for a relationship to work; but those sparks don't ALWAYS start at the first date. And the guys you DO feel that instant connection with, may actually be the ones you most need to avoid.
I have a friend whose father wasn't an alcoholic, but her beloved uncle and grandfather were. She also suffered the loss of a parent in early childhood. I can almost guarantee you, if she meets someone at a party or from online that she feels some spark for - he will turn out to be an alcoholic! Her unhealthy childhood leads her to them every single time, even if it's totally not obvious in the beginning.
So - not saying you have to continually date boring guys you feel nothing for, but consider at least giving some of those guys a chance. The eager guys, the ones who think you're fantastic, the ones who make dates in advance: try them.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
That condo sounds awesome G! Best of luck! I'm saying a little prayer for you right now!
Originally Posted By: Ginger
I do know exactly what I want. What I do wonder if I want in an R actually exists.
Absolutely. What you want in a R absolutely exists. Not sure why it has not happened for you yet, but I am convinced that it will. Because you're so wonderful. Maybe give Ellie's suggestion a try. The fact that some guy thinks you're fabulous and is eager to meet you does not mean something is wrong with him. Unless he does not love kids, of course. That is a must!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Ditto…and sorry but some of my comments towards you (i.e. I’ll break his legs with a baseball bat) are that whole latin big brother thang. Sorry.
Quote:
I do know exactly what I want. What I do wonder if I want in an R actually exists.
It does. Look at Noelle’s parents. Is it easy to find? No. Then again….anything worth it’s weight in gold is never easy. Right? Now…if you agree with my worth it’s weight in Gold statement – well then apply it to yourself. YOU my dear are worth it. Good luck on the bid. Can we paint my room Black and Grey (the Batman colors)? LOL.
Oh….BTW, I just packed for this upcoming week. I went through the “fridge” in my dinning room….bringing 2 cases…ice, sweet, red…you name it…I’m bringing it.
BTW, read KML’s post up there ^^^^^ - read it several times.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
G I think Ellie hit it on the nail. K is someone I would have not been interested in the past. She is 100% opposite of my ex. K is exactly what I wanted in a partner. It took all these years to figure it out. I'm so not dependent on her. I feel free to do things I would have not done before i.e. starting my own business. We have kinda of a care free life as a couple. No pressure. Well some from me but I'm unlearing my old ways slowly. We really enjoy each other. Try something different.it just might work out...
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Truth is, no one asks me out. I guess I refer to the few online dating experiences I have had. And some guys who people think I should date from high school...... I can't think of them that way.
I see what you all are saying. I just don't date much, don't get asked out , don't even really have the opportunity it's to turn these guys down I don't have a connection with .
But I promise that I will say "yes" to the next guy even if I'm not feeling it right away. I will give (almost) any guy who asks me out a chance.
Right now, my life is pretty D9, friend, and school oriented. Online dating isn't happening and I can't go out looking. But I wouldn't turn away the opportunity of it comes my way.
Funny enough, those who know me, know I can be "one of the guys" I'm loud, I curse a lot, I have a perverted sense of humor and I will kick back with beers and talk about sex with the guys, lol. I'm still a lady, im still self respecting and a mom, but yeah, the "nice guy" isn't going to be attracted to me. My guy friends get me, and those guy friends are great guys , not bad boys (you know who you are) but let's get real, I'm only for certain tastes. I accept that, but I think I'm a cool girl and when guys do get to know me, they get to know my softer side.
I really wish I could come this week and help with all that wine. It would have been a blast. Stupid work. Please give everyone love and hugs from me and pics would be good.....
Oh, and I think a higher power sent me a sign. I was at my company picnic and someone from a different department was sitting at my table. I was talking about the bid, and she said " are you buying a house?" I told her a condo she asked what town and she told me she does real estate on the side. She tells me about this great condo in my town and we realize..:..... She is the co-listing agent for the one I put a bid on! What are the odds????? She put a good word in for me at the office. Small, small world!
I can see you not getting asked out much since your life is so kid, school and work intensive right now. Not much of a chance to meet guys. But I think that closing on your new condo (your stars ARE aligning, yea!) just might bring some new men into your life. Maybe in the paint aisle at Home Depot!
Wish you could be at the beach this week G, you and little G too. Love you both.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
[quote=RosaLinda]I can see you not getting asked out much since your life is so kid, school and work intensive right now. Not much of a chance to meet guys. But I think that closing on your new condo (your stars ARE aligning, yea!) just might bring some new men into your life. Maybe in the paint aisle at Home Depot!
Wish you could be at the beach this week G, you and little G too. Love you both. [/quote
I met my potential upstairs neighbor. Cute guy about my age. No clue if he's single or not, but maybe he knows some guys if he isn't!
