Your posts are sure full of some heavy duty thinking here. This limbo thing is ridiculously difficult, huh?
But you do have the options. Only you can know what option to choose and how you'll feel about it, what you can live with, etc. I'm here myself in some ways. They are hard choices.
I know it doesn't help the feelings, but I for one would suggest that you are anything but a failure, no matter which option you choose. I've been married 10 years and I too feel like that relationship is such a deep part of me, and I feel deep love for the man that I married and a real and visceral devotion to what we took on together. I have no doubt what kind of life we could have even now. But I can't make him decide to contribute to an honest and adult relationship, either. That is the choice they make.
Triple J wrote:
Quote: But I have fallen into this also, getting angry and frustrated about things that she MIGHT be thinking.
We've all been here I am sure. But we are not in their heads... and have to work at remembering that our assumptions about what they might be thinking are nothing but fabrications in our own minds. We control that.
My H and I are in part where we are because of his anger and feelings over things he imagined that I might be thinking... none of which were even close to the truth when he finally confronted me with them. Don't fall into this trap, guys. And if you do, crawl out fast!
p.s. My two cents here, KAW, and I mean it gently and respectfully. Don't read the journals or letters or anything else. Just don't go there.
