J...

First off, I agree with Sandi...

Secondly, Try not to pre-decide how you will feel or do something before it presents itself in reality...

What you are hearing, and reading, is only a path to the decision that will ultimately be made...

Chances are, what will eventually happen, will fall somewhere in between a couple of those things....

Or maybe none of them...

So don't decide, until it is time to decide...

You have to find your answer in this...

What YOU want, and how you will handle it.

For her ?

This is going to be a very emotional time for her, reaping what she has sewn, actually having to "own" her decisions....

Keep your focus on what is best for the kids, and try not to buy into anything that sounds out of the ordinary.

And read Sandi and Ginger's posts about a hundred times....