just got a job. Possibly 6 months, possibly more. Life should work out somewhat better. Since we lived on her salary before same amount as my salary now, but at 75% whereas mine will be 100% I'll be a bit better of now than before. I'll be able to pay off the debts we've accrued while she was working and finally start on my student debts.
None of this will bring her back, but it will finally give me peace. Something I haven't had in a long time.