WW Starting to talk again. Not sure if I want her.

[Surfer]

Journaling to close out a little anxiety.

So about 10 days ago W told me she tickets already booked for something. It's on my day with kids (Sunday), but it's something they would love. I took the higher ground (rather than saying it's unfair to interfere with my time) and said she should take them (she did say I could take them - she would not have wanted me to go along too - so I didn't offer that option). But she had made the effort and that felt like the right thing to do. So she is taking them. She then said, can I take them to something after for a bit. Again I agreed. They will be gone between 10-2pm.

There were stories about how her wayward friends could not make it as the timing was wrong/tickets were not available etc. I thought okay? She knows I don't like her friend - perhaps she is trying to reassure.

She left a VM for me today, to see if the tickets had come here today - which is very late for something she booked ages ago (and prior to 10 days ago). She mentioned tickets for one of her wayward friends - one that lied to me about her EA and the one that couldn't make it, one of three I don't like. I just validated. I know I am mind reading - but this feels like one of those lies potentially.....I will maintain my composure. I will not say anything.

I think I am noticing one of my faults. It's that I tend to look for the worst. It's not a good trait. What I also do is use my great BS detector. It's rarely wrong. But if you spend enough time looking for a lie, you will find one too. I need to work out how to deal with this. There is a fine balance in being treated like a fool and setting yourself up for a fail - via an argument that didn't need to take place.

Also, there is a need not to give a sh!t. Okay, you are getting on together. Which is not bad - certainly for the kids. It's good. However, why give a sh!t what she is up to? I perhaps need to detach more and just do the okay - enjoy it thing!!

I guess I am also still uncomfortable with my W being out with waywards without her wedding ring on (and trying to hide what she is doing with them). In the meantime, I am being 'nice'. I am doing this for the sake of my kids - but there's an element in it for her too. Tricky - when you want to say; stay away from them, they are misguiding you.

You need to be nice, to become get along - without being nice/friendly you are fooling yourself. There will be no relationship. If you don't you are not giving your relationship a chance.

I guess also, if you are being treated badly. Set a boundary. If you are not, don't try to.

I still have ongoing trust issues and I need to work on them. I also simply do not like her friends and 'influencers' at all.

I think I need to stop overthinking. Let her GAL. You can't control your S. Let go.

I would welcome any thoughts.

Surfer.