Livnlearn: You also asked:
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What have you done, or are you doing, to start moving forward with your life, with or without CAW? I don't mean starting a relationship with someone else, but could you be doing things that are more jsut for yourself, that will feel to CAW that you might be moving on without her?

This one is tricky, because she felt I was moving on without her during the M, so she had felt I'm capable. When I backed off last spring, it was also an attempt by me to say ... OK if you're gonna do your thing ... I'll show you can start doing my thing again, but with a twist and that was to keep my daughters more involved in what I was doing ... Went to movies with them when CAW didn't want to go ... took day trips to parks & playgrounds ... spent a lot of time making the yard nice again ... went to computer & car shows ... got more involve in some hobbies that I had shelved since the bomb, etc...

but at the same time I didn't want her to feel I was no longer going to address her needs. So when the family car (station wagon) was on its last leg last year, I decided to let her pick out the next vehicle she wanted to drive around. (and to put the kabosh on her allegation that I won't let her select any of our vehicles altho that wasn't true, but I won't get into that right now.)

KK:
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do we ever really stop db'n???

NEVER! ... that is if you wish to continue striving for and forever keep your own personal happiness and how that relates to all others involved in your life. ... OOPS, I think Lostlove said it better in the next post.

Bridget:
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But consider a mad trip to the West Coast,
renting a sportscar with a good sound system,
and cruising along the beach with the wind in
your hair.

Is this an invite to have my own MLC? (Just kidding!) ... but I have thought, how long could I keep this up before I start thinking like a MLCer? Aren't these the kind of stresses that over time drives them to that point?

Maybe a trip to the west coast is in order ... its been 26 years since the last time I was there.

Merrick:
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We are not far from one another. Maybe we can get together in White Plains for dinner one night and share war stories and battle strategies.

I had wanted to post to your thread today, but I had found it locked. I've been on this bb from nearly two years and come to know many here I like to call my friends, but I have never any in person. Merrick, I would like that.

... and I want to thank all the stop by with their well wishes for CAW & I. One of the biggest issues that contributes to her depression is her health and how its one thing right after another ... gall bladder, back surgery, hernia (two), depression, panick attacks, diabetes, reflux, heel spur and now headaches ... all in the last ten years and she is only 42.

Well I think that catches me back up on my on thread ... time to visit some of my cyber friends ...

'til later,
KAW