Confused on What to Do 2

[Eagle11]

You know Eagle11, I still practice what I am going to say, with one difference - it's not just to my spouse, but for me. What am I going to say to me in times where I feel challenged by my spouse, by others, by the self? What is my plan of action in those moments? What is the recovery plan if I begin down a road that I feel lost on? Or, even more important, after a lethal inquisition of the self following a much needed MACH1 challenge - what is my plan to change my instincts from one form to another - can I actually change instinct? The answer is yes, you can. I am not there yet to full capacity, but it can be begun, and I can choose to make it permanent. You - Eagle11 - can change the question as opposed to adding on to your current behavior. That is an important statement - you can change the question as opposed to adding on to your current behavior. You can my friend.

This is interesting. I think I need to look within more. I am so concerned about my W and what she thinks and how I react to that. Are you saying you are reprogramming the way you think?

Eagle11 - what I personally see about the genius of DB; all these posts, reading the books twice, watching the videos, exploring other models -the genius of DB'ing is that it offers only one valid outcome for all these different variables. If you do the DB correctly, it is all about you being a better you. Not MWD nor any old poster here guarantees that this will results in us ending up with the women we fell in love with, had kids with, married. No, but what they guarantee is that if you listen, if you believe, if you put in the work, that hope and belief in ourselves - in our self - can be rebuilt. You can do this. I can do this. Those with signature dates years before us did this.

I am beginning to learn this from you and others on this board. In all honesty, I bought the book and found this website because I just wanted to save my marriage. What I am discovering is that this whole thing is about us, not our marriage. If we get to that place in our lives where we believe in ourselves then great things will happen. If we don't save our marriage, we will be fine as long as we've worked and bettered ourselves. This has been pounded in my head over and over since I joined here and it's starting to sink in.

I believe in you, you believe in you. Eagle11 - Apollo11's lunar lander? One small step for man? You are the man Eagle11. I will be out for a bit after tonight, have a long weekend of paper writing and my son's birthday party, plus next 4 nights with him. Wanted to check your sitch, remind you that you are a leader, and that you have every right to chime in on my deal too. Be cool, be well. With you dude.

I appreciate the thought and thank you for checking in.Everyone here has been so helpful to me. It's amazing how much a bunch of people on a message board that don't know me have taken the time to help me. Everyone here has got lives of there own to live, but they come into my thread and post amazing advice to me. I really am at a loss for words. When I posted my first post on here I was just hoping someone would take the time to respond,but the response has been overwhelming.

Have fun with your son this weekend. I hope he has a great birthday and thanks for checking in and helping. I really appreciate it.