Trying to detach - part deux

[SH_]

SH - again your words make me sit up and think (are you a teacher because I always feel I have to be on my best behaviour when reading your posts!).

I just watched the Guy Winch Ted talk about Emotional First Aid. It frightened me a bit about the number of physical issues caused when you don't look after your emotional health especially when I have my D to look after. I took on board the two minute distraction every time I start to ruminate and I recognise this is something that I have always been prone to. Playing things in my mind over and over again and finding it hard to let go.

Today I plucked up the courage to call our EAP helpline which we have through work and broke down but it was good to talk to someone who isn't close to me. They are going to arrange for 8 free counselling sessions starting next week.

I think what is paralysing me, and I agree I am paralysed, is accepting that my marriage is over. I came to this website like everyone else looking for hope to restore my marriage but it seems to be slipping further and further away from me.

So my question is do I need to let go of the hope in order to release myself from this paralysis...?

Coly, no I am not a teacher....I like to think of myself more as a student that studies the heck out of things......

No, please do not lose hope, but yes, you must focus on the reality of the moment.
Look further into Guy Winch........

I left a reply for you over on Cherry's thread.

Let me apologize to you at the offense that I caused you.....
I understand the pain that you are in....
I have to keep the memory of my own dark and lost days following the BD, down everyday...
It was not that many months ago....
But I can promise you that it gets easier....
There is much work needed...
The time it will take really is up to each individual.....
You choose he duration of the struggle.....

I will support you, but I believe that I must step back until you are at a stronger point because my passion and belief in what I share is strong......it is how I am pushing forward for those that I love.......and that does include my STBXW........
Please feel free to reach out to me here if I can assist or share with you in any way.
I will still follow and send you my support from the background Coly23.

I know you will make it through.
You are in the right place to get the support that will benefit you....
Please heed the advice... your future self will thank you.....I promise.
I pray for you and those that are here with us.