Raul - don't beat yourself up. You are a man who loves a woman. Perhaps find the Percy Sledge recording of that and remind yourself that you are a good man.
You are fairly early on the journey you will need to take to get to the other side - whatever that other side may be. It will take time.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells