wife of 14 years walks out on her family

[Raul]

Update:
It has been 2 months since I last spoke with WW.I had to give her my new number, but I have maintained NC for almost the entire 2 months.

Today she calls me out of the blue. She stated she needed me to come out. My heart dropped because I knew it would be so she can serve me the DP. She says her car wouldn't start and if I can help her. I immediately said yes and left work to help her. I worked myself on the way- I will show no emotions. I get there with butterflies in my stomach, excited to see her. I pop the hood and notice her battery terminals are filthy. I cleaned them and the car start up.

I then go downhill. I held her hand and tell her how I miss her. I wish we could work on our marriage. She says no and has no change of heart. She is seeing someone new. And said that she did not want to call me but at the time had no choice. I tell her I still care for her and then I kiss her hand and leave.

I had a moment of weakness. I don't understand why I can't get mad at her. Why I can't hate her. But I am also numbed about her seeing someone, like whatever. I don't understand my feelings. I was happy for those few minutes when I know I should have not helped her. But I don't regret it. And I want to too. I know that she could have called her tow service company, a co-worker at her job, or her new boyfriend. But she called me. And then told me to leave her alone. I feel pathetic, but I love her so much and I hate myself for that.