Amy, Go visit HaWho's thread. She's got her MLCer living in the basement and he's acting like a teenager and thinks that she's made his life horrible his entire adult life.
Please try to remember that when in crisis, their glasses are coated with a dark film and they can't see clearly. It's their perception of how things were. We are wearing clear glasses and can see clearly and know what is or isn't true. Only own up to 50% of the breakdown of the marriage. Don't try to take on his share too. That's his to own and do something about.
As you travel along the path, you'll begin to find your sense of humor again and will begin to see that some of the stuff they say and do just isn't done in a rational way and you'll shake your head about it.
tfish, has given you something to do this evening. Repeat this over and over again "it's him, it's not me".
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
