Trying to detach - part deux

[ForGump]

The general advice from my IC is to stop behaving like a parent to her. Let her do things for herself, let her figure things out for herself. Be kind but firm in my interactions with her. My IC's goals for me isn't so much to "adapt to her personality" (as you wrote), but to focus on me being a healthy partner, and give her the opportunity to be a health partner herself. But my IC is also pessimistic that my W will really do that on her own.