You were a good wife, but his journey is all about him and his childhood issues that need to be resolved. If he hadn't been happy a long time ago, he wouldn't have stayed as long as he did. When we get married, no one gave us a book on how to deal w/the life transitions or w/MLC. We had no clue that our spouses would board the Mother Ship and orbit many times over. They appeared to fairly normal when we married them and in most instances we accepted them w/all their warts and flaws. So, who knew that they would flip out one day? No one. PSST! This can happen to anyone and it's not just because they are married. Again, it's him, not you.
We all took on tasks during the marriage that we didn't love, but we accepted the additional work because it's what we thought marriage was all about...there's no shame in that. We all get caught up in the marriage and sometimes we lose ourselves in the process. We try to make others happy and we forget about ourselves.
Sooooo....while he's orbiting earth, this is your time to rediscover you! It's a time to finish up DIY projects, take up new hobbies and do things that you've never done before. It's time to leave the comfort zone behind and start venturing forth into the world and meeting new people and doing things that you enjoy. Peace, joy, happiness, joy and trust will all come back to you as you travel your life's path.
How about making a list of things that you would like to do and let's see what a good time period would be for them.
Amy, you'll get to the other side....but it takes time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
