Taking my first sip of the water

[ATPeace]

I apologize for my delay in getting back to you.
Got a rough head cold going on and the cold meds are gumming up the works in the thought processes.....

So....where to begin.....
I take accountability for being so wordy with my thoughts.
It can make a challenge for getting my point......
That being said, my dear friend Ghost.
Sandi2 got it.
vise got it
Rose got it
roist got it.
So please pay attention to their thoughts as well.

I find it interesting that when you shared what you pondered my friend,
you skipped the entire first part of my thoughts....

Hi Ghost,

What kind of IC are you seeing?
I ask as I perceive your IC is a marriage/relationship therapist.
I was seeing the same, until it came up, that if I needed assistance for things outside of that, that I would need to seek an IC with expertise in the needed area.
Your session sounds to have been focused on relationship aspect still.
That may not benefit with your spiraling and other person issues.

I encourage that you speak with your MD and ask for a reference.i will do this I will hook an appointment monday or Tuesday

Please google Guide to Psychiatry and Counseling and check the webMD info among other bits of info.

I still read your last posts as just a repeat of your over 1 years worth of posts.
I don't want to sound doom and gloom, but your 2 posts after your session are just a lot of the same.

First one you are down as the IC session was under whelming for you and then your next post was upbeat because your W and you seem to be getting along yesterday.

And then you list the same goals you have listed for the past year and you ask "silly" questions about how someone may reinvest after years of resentment.
I say this is silly as the answers we can give you are the same as you have received for over a year and read in DB.

This is your trend for as far back as I can remember in your story anytime someone brings up the suggestion that you seek professional assistance from a trained, professional psychiatrist or therapist.
I ask as I have asked your previously.

Why do you disregard this? I do not disregard this I guess I thought that the Councillor that I was seeing was enough but I can see I need further help

Ghost....ATPeace my dear friend. You need to work on you. Your MR will not have much chance if you do not do this.

Let me preface what I am about to point out with I am not a licensed professional, nor can I diagnose emotional or mental challenges.

That being said, I see that many here have tried gently to steer you in a direction to get confirmation or assistance in the case that you need more for your emotional and mental well being than an online forum or some books about what you need to do in your sitch.
So here is what I see when I read your story and have been conversing with you.

Signs of,
Codependent behaviors
Low self esteem
Obsessive thoughts about your W and MR
Inability to make and commit to decisions that would benefit you.
Unhealthy behaviors in relationships.
Social anxiety behaviors.
Possible bipolar tendencies (things are great...things are not great...)
Mr. Nice Guy traits
Anxiety
mood swings
Possible eating issues


G, these are things that you have shared in your story for over a year, and today, you are not sounding to have moved at all on any of the things you share with us and seek advice. I think you have to the above spot on

Now tell us what you would have to lose by seeing someone and talking about all of your struggles without mentioning your W.
Print your story from here if you need to have someone read it and ensure you are open and honest when you speak with them.
There is no shame in seeking assistance for yourself. I know that it can be a bit taboo to seek assistance, heck my WAW's family frowns on this and I am afraid my WAW needs some assistance..but that is a story for another time.

This thread is supposed to be about you as you stated in the beginning.
Lets do what you need to be the man that any woman would be attracted to.
Brace for this 2X4.....
Your wife is not attracted to you right now.
Many of the women in this community would say the same I am sure....
I am not attracted to your thoughts and behaviors as I read your story...
You are not an attractive man in your behaviors and actions.
If you could step back you will know this is truth.
I have had to face the same truth.....it stings....its tough to accept.....but only through acknowledging this and then doing something about it can you save you........and then......only then will you have any chance at saving your MR.

I pray with all my heart that this gets through to you this night.
You can do this.
You must do this.

What say you, my friend.........?

You have got through to me I understand I get it