Thanks for all the advice. What I am getting from you all is that I need to get myself in a better place and not worry about my W or the sitch? It needs to be about me and not her. I can only take charge of my life?
I need to detach from the sitch. I need to become my own man and not worry about her. I'm hearing all the words, but I got to get myself to do it. I have a lot of fears in life and I have to face this one. We've been together for 12 years and I've probably lacked confidence for 1/2 of that time. I have some ideas of why I began to lack the confidence and I need to face those issues. When she had her EA 8 years ago I know I was different then. I was stronger and I actually think I was using some DB without even knowing anything about it at the time. I did detach from her then and other than the beginning I didn't beg her to stay. I don't think I was as scared then because I didn't have any kids. I guess the fear of facing this sitch with kids is what is making it so difficult. I was also younger then and knew that if it didn't work out, I would be ok. I know I'm still not old at 39, but it's amazing what my mind thinks.
I have a therapist appointment tomorrow morning and she has been great so far. I think I need to tell her to dig into me tomorrow instead of focusing on the M. I think talking about the M is a lot easier than facing the fears I have in my head about myself.
Tonight, my S6 school is hosting a picnic with games, music, etc. My S6 wants to go so we said we would all go. I think I just need to go and show I'm having a good time and not worry about what my W is doing while we are there.
M39, W36 T12, M10 S6,S2 Discovered EA 8/8 that started 7/31
