Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #4]

[ForGump]

Mules-- I appreciate all that you wrote. It's thoughtful and insightful. There is indeed something common to human nature, and similar problems repeat. But it also sounds like good things also happen afterward, commonly.

If I did not have kids, I would have divorced. Completely disconnected from W and tried to recover. But with two fairly young kids, I just am not able to do it. It just feels wrong. Just as I am physically unable to punch my kids in the face, I am unable to physically make myself do anything on the D because it will hurt them. Many say kids will be OK, but I don't feel it. Many say it's better for the kids to live in two peaceful households -- but we are not fighting. Sure, my W is grumpy but we haven't had a single argument in front of them.

I can and do sometimes dream about being with someone kinder, healthier. So it's not like I don't understand that life can be good after the divorce. Just can't make myself hurt the kids right now.